Police are still scratching their heads over an incident this past weekend that resulted in a woman being rushed to the emergency room and a comedian heading off to jail.
“It was a spur of the moment thing, really,” explained Shawn (not his real name). I was sitting there in the train depot, waiting for my train, with my suitcase by my side, when a portly woman comes and sits beside me and the suitcase. Unfortunately for me, she was a talkative one, and asks where I’m going, so I politely tell her uptown, and turn away. But she continued. She talked on, non-stop for about ten minutes and I finally had enough.”
Shawn lit a cigarette and continued, “I couldn’t allow this woman one more word, or I felt I could strangle her, and then I remembered the fake severed head in my suitcase—I used it in my shows. It’s real as real can get. Anyway, I acted like I’d forgotten where I’d put my train ticket, checking all my pockets and finding nothing, when I then said to her ‘sheesh, I’d forget my head if it wasn’t fastened on’ and then I opened the suitcase.”
The woman’s name is being withheld until her family can be notified. Meanwhile, Shawn sits in jail awaiting arraignment for unintentional assault.