The
White House announced yesterday, that the "you're fired" bo$$, Donald
J. Trump, was ranting about how bored he is with all the talk about people's
lives in the balance, do gooders, strikes, furloughs, whiny workers, and the
general lack of attention he has been getting lately.
{paraphrasing}
"I mean seriously? We are more concerned about government employees not
getting paid than how I look on camera?" According to unnamed (Deep State)
reporters, if he had to be the boss all the time, he might as well take
advantage of the down time (due to government shutdown at the time of this
writing)…to have some fun for a change.
Plans
are being readied to recreate an authentic Roman toga party to include grapes, "those scarf dancers," per DJT, and enough fast food to choke a
Trojan horse. In addition to the main party, a separate room is being readied
for 'extracurricular' activities to coincide with the *yawn* toga party.
When
word got out that the extracurricular activity was actually assigned code word:
"Pee-Pee," party planners were confused.
Said
one: "Does the toga party involve parts of Donald J. Trump being nude, as
in wee-wee pee-pee? Or are we actually providing various liquids to be drank in
high quantities so that hired ladies can pee on cue?" So far, the White
House has not responded to requests for additional information, Trump has
tweeted not too long ago that "anyone who doesn't understand the word
play, especially with the word fore in front of it, doesn't know how to balance
business with pleasure." and added "That's what I am here fore. Trust
me, the orgy and list of attendees will be kept a secret"
MSNBC
correspondents covering the White House confirmed several sources as confirming
the confirmation that there would absolutely be a toga party in the very near
future. No further information, other than (1) the possible names of two scarf
dancers, Shak-Shak and Boo-Tea, and (2) and a list of possible names of elite
invitees to the super secret event known as the PeePee Party, or Pee Pee Pee
for short. Ok, the visuals, I get it. Let's move on.
MSNBC
reached out to Stormy Daniels and her attorney, Michael Avenatti about the toga
party. While Avenatti simply stated, "I already have an audio/visual tape
of the Orgy," his client, Stormy Daniels, declined to comment whether or
not she was invited to the sordid soiree and whether or not she would be
attending. When told that the answer to both of those questions was the same
answer, yes or no, she responded "ey, semantics."
When
caught in the hallway of the Senate, Mitch McConnell was asked if he knew about
the planned party and what he thought of an Orgy in the White House. McConnell
responded "Not now. I need to get my sheets (er…suit) out of the cleaner."
In
a related story, several elite Republican lawmakers have been caught pilfering an
invitation written in crayon from D. Trump to Mike Pence asking he RSVP to the Toga
Party at once. One lawmaker was caught off camera saying
"Pence?
Are you serious? Invite him and he will bore the hell out of everyone there.. he'll
bring the whole place down. I had dinner with him once. Never again. That guy
is an a-number one buzz kill, and he is one Pee we don't need at our
party."
BREAKING
NEWS! Donald J Trump has just announced he would be willing to attend the next
Correspondent's Dinner AND his own State of the Union Speech, IF he gets the
promise of a wall. We'll keep you posted.
