Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Veterinarian Accidentally Neuters Rare Male Kitten

Atlanta, GA – Cat lovers in Atlanta, Georgia are threatening to have the license of a local veterinarian pulled after finding out that he unwittingly neutered a rare male kitten instead of preserving the animal’s unlikely yet slim possibility of breeding more of his kind.

The kitten in question, a “torbie” is considered quite rare. A mix between a tortoise-shell calico and a tabby cat, most all torbies are born female. The fact that this was a male torbie was big news in the shelter where little “Dickie”, the name given him by shelter workers, was taken after the owner didn’t know how rare he really was.

Gladys Grubster, a life-long shelter worker who had called dibs on Dickie before the operation, said after hearing the news, “Well, there goes my ticket outta volunteer hell. I was planning on breeding Dickie in the hopes of breeding even more male torbies and finally making enough money to retire, but that dream has been shot all to hell thanks to Dr. Snip-Snip.”

Chances of ever finding another torbie in the area are slim to none, leaving everyone involved to wonder why this doctor was so quick to put Dickie under the knife. “Look, I’m not as stupid as I look,” said the vet. “Male torbies are rare sure, but not so rare is the fact that they are typically born sterile.”

“Which begs the question,” said Gladys, obviously unable to control her rage, “Why the hell did you even bother neutering Dickie then, you moron? And how the hell do you think he got here in the first place?”

When Gladys was asked if she would still be adopting poor little Dickie, Gladys replied, “What the hell for?”

7 comments:

  1. Where do you come up with this stuff?
    The kitten picture is unbearably cute.

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  2. yes, I like that picture too. I found it on the internet. As for the stuff I come up with, sometimes I just take a regular news item and take it to a whole 'nother level. Most of my friends admit my mind must be a scary place to visit. :-)

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  3. The news is so horrible, I think humor is great therapy for being able to handle it--other than burying one's head in the sand. I tried that, but all I got was a mouth full of sand.

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  4. Yes, Rahma, I agree. I love sand in my toes, only. Satire and humor puts a smile on my face.

    I'm glad you appreciate my sometimes warped sense of life.

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  5. This woman is an idiot. To actually admit that she wants to breed a kitten and put more cats into a world with too many and then retire off of the back of cats is sick. I hope the shelter let her go and found someone with ethics to volunteer in her place!

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  6. Hi Jeani,
    You've stumbled onto a satire site, meaning this never happened. The whole story is made up. It's called irony. From what I can tell you, there was no Dickie, there was no volunteer from hell, and I'm just a mean person making jokes about poor little kittens. Mea culpa.

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  7. Okay, this would be my luck! Out of fifteen worthless cats my ticket to cloning a 'rare' one snuffed by a snip in the groin.

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