Saturday, July 16, 2011

Rupert Murdoch Hands Out Free Puppies as Apology to Brits

The scandal involving Rupert Murdoch’s News of the World is spreading to Murdoch’s other holdings and some say it could spell the doom of his News Corporation empire.

Realizing immediately that his newspaper apology was doing nothing to quell the anger rising exponentially across the globe against himself and his clan, the media mogul decided it was time to bring out the big guns to fight the onslaught of criticism.

Murdoch has reportedly bought 1,000 adorable puppies of some of the cutest breeds around, including English Bulldogs, Yorkshire Terriers, and Shih Tzus, and he has personally taken it upon himself to pass the puppies out at news conferences to his accusers.

“I know a public apology can only go so far,” said Murdoch, as he handed an English Bulldog to British Prime Minister David Cameron. Earlier, Murdoch presented Britain’s Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, with a Shih Tzu.

While there is no word yet on what type of puppy Murdoch plans on giving to the family of slain teen, Milly Dowler, indications are that Murdoch may decide to let them personally choose the pick of the litter and, in fact, may even offer two puppies to the family.

Some say it is merely a desperate ploy to shift the focus off his unscrupulous business dealings by offering up some adorable puppies. However, it seems to be working already as Queen Elizabeth II, recipient of three Jack Russell Terrier puppies, issued a statement of her own commenting on Murdoch’s apparent “changed man” status. The statement read, in part:

“Oh no, he’s not a bad boy, is he now? He’s a good boy, yes, yes he is. He’s a wittle furry wittle good boy now isn’t he? Oh yes he is.”

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