Sunday, July 5, 2009

How to Tell if Your Neighbor is a Novice Griller

1. He comes over and asks to borrow some gasoline….for the lawnmower.

2. Left side of his head looks like the empty lot out back of your house after last year’s brush fire.

3. When you start talking rotisserie, he says he’s uncomfortable discussing ladies’ undergarments.

4. You see him letting his wife flip the burgers.

5. When you ask if he uses mesquite, he tells you he doesn’t do drugs.

6. He does not have his beer chest strategically placed so that he can flip a wiener with one hand while grabbing a cold one in the other.

7. His kids take cover when he yells—who wants to help dad start the fire?

8. When invited over to your house for a bbq, he doesn’t try and tell you how to cook the chicken legs.

9. His patio is clear of giant grease spots.

10. He actually PREFERS eating hummus.

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