Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Romney Doubles Back on Obama Criticism; Claims 47% of Americans are Not Exceptional

[Says only way he could possibly win election is if he was a poor gay black Latino woman]

The Romney campaign is exploding this week and things seem to be going from bad to worse as Romney has had to forego his criticisms of Obama to make room in his speeches to apologize for everything he’s said and done over the last two decades.

More recently, the big deal seems to be over some video leaked that shows Romney speaking to a bunch of rich guys telling them exactly how he feels about the poor in this country. In response to the criticism of the film, Mitt Romney says he is having a hard time understanding what all the fuss is about as he claims he was just regurgitating most of what he and his business partners have been saying over lunch for years.

Romney was busy on the campaign trail Tuesday telling supporters he wasn’t sorry about the hidden tape that surfaced showing him as a callous businessman who admits his disdain for the disadvantaged.

“The only thing I’m truly sorry about,” said Romney, “is that American exceptionalism exists in a very few of us. The rest of Americans are, at best, ordinary. Ordinary and poor.”  

Romney did go on to say that regardless of how many people are poor in this country, he is not worried about them for any other reason except that they are going to vote for Obama one way or the other because they are dependent on him for their monthly checks.

When asked how they can vote if they are refused on the basis of not having a picture ID, Romney denied having anything to do with that.

“That whole voter suppression thing is Karl Rove’s puppy,” he said. “I’ve got my own problems without having to take responsibility for that too.”

Later in the day, Romney spoke before a handful of wonky-eyed supporters at a pub in Rhode Island. He told the group that if he had been born a poor gay black latino woman, he’d at least have half a fighting chance to stay in the race for President.

One of the drunks at the bar shouted to the empty barstool next to him, “Well, amigo, you look pretty good for a woman. I’d do you.”

Meanwhile, Wikipedia has announced that it has temporarily shut down Mitt Romney’s Wiki page claiming they are spending too much money hiring fact checkers to keep up with all the new information exploding onto the page by Romney insiders who are finding their source of hush money drying up.

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