The Democratic Party has been overwhelmed with the
success of its National Convention in Charlotte, NC this week. In fact, reports
have it even some Republicans are trying to get in on the Hope and Change
train after watching President Clinton give a rousing speech in favor of re-electing
President Obama.
“It’s a success beyond our wildest dreams,” gushed Debbie
Wasserman Schultz as she was caught rushing off to her hotel room in hopes of a good night’s
sleep ahead of Thursday’s events.
“Before I let you go, though,” said Schultz, “I’m gonna
let you in on a little secret. We are making plans right now to hold
mini-conventions in all the swing states every week leading up to the
election.”
When Chris Matthews of MSNBC caught wind of the plans, he
was said to be giddy with joy.
“Ooh, I hope they keep up the attack,” he said. “I’ve
never seen the Democrats so fired up,” he marveled. “It’s like they took my
advice and ran with it,” said Matthews appearing to take credit for the
Democrats actually “growing a spine.”
Matthews’ best moment came a night earlier when, at the
end of Gov. Deval Patrick’s speech, the news anchor was caught on camera appearing
to do a fake swoon and then jumping up out of his seat.
“Tonight, Gov. Deval Patrick (D-Mass) hit it out of the
park,” screamed Matthews, jabbing his fists like a boxer and asking someone to
queue the Rocky theme.
Because the plan has just been hatched, Schultz was short
on details. She would say that people will be lined up around the block to
participate.
“We won’t have as many recognized politicians to speak at
the these events,” said Schultz, “But we will have more of the same
schoolteachers, nuns, former Bain Capital employees, and women not the least
bit embarrassed to talk about their uteruses, telling their stories about how
really important it is to re-elect President Obama.”
Asked how he will keep up with the schedule, Matthews
replied “Don’t you worry about me. You just keep ‘em comin’ and I’ll find a
way,” as he took another shot of Red Bull in his MSNBC mug before asking his
guests for a group hug.
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