Showing posts with label basketball. Show all posts
Showing posts with label basketball. Show all posts

Friday, December 20, 2013

Dennis Rodman Fails to Arrive at Kim Jong Un Palace

Where is that Wascally Wodman?
Pyongyang, N. Korea - Dennis Rodman reportedly sent a look-alike imposter in his place to supreme leader, Kim Jong Un's palace Thursday. The leader of N. Korea is said to be hopping mad and may be readying the execution squad yet another time this month.

"He promise he come back see me, bring many, many good basketball player. He no show up," Jong Un was quoted as saying after throwing a lavish party consisting of the one chicken left in the state larders, along with two cucumbers and a spaghetti squash left over from the summer harvest.

In addition, the supreme leader had ordered the state chef to open a bottle of bootleg Colt 45 for the occasion, which Un ended up drinking himself after finding out his dinner guest was an imposter.

Forced to sit across from each other at the dining table, which was actually two T.V. trays pushed together, Un would not look directly into the imposter's eyes as they each reached for the last chicken leg at the same time.

Said Un, "You know how I know this Dennis Rodman  imposter? I tell you. He know I like chicken leg best. He know I kill him if he take last chicken leg. He always leave last chicken leg for me. I stab him with fork but he still take last chicken leg. He imposter. He must die."

So far, no one has been able to determine the fate of the imposter, who, obviously failed to do his homework before accepting the dangerous assignment.

Meanwhile, Dennis Rodman is still in hiding according to his friends who claim that he (Rodman) has finally admitted he has come to realize just how volatile the little leader is and issued this statement through his agent:

"Man, everyone told me that little dude was crazy but I never knew how crazy until last week when out of nowhere he offs his own uncle," said Rodman.


"I ain't takin' no chances until he assures me he won't kill me too," said the pot (Rodman), who is beginning to realize all too well the hypocrisy of his calling this North Korean kettle black.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Dennis Rodman Missing After Jang Song Thaek's Execution

Although the mainstream media is reporting that Dennis Rodman is still planning on traveling to North Korea next week to begin training North Korea's basketball team, no one close to Rodman has seen him since the execution of Kim Jong Un's uncle, Jang Song Thaek today.

Friends close to Rodman claim that he has not been heard from since early this morning, and his own personal trainer says he did not show up at the gym as usual this afternoon.

His closest friends can only speculate that Rodman made public his renewed commitment to travel to North Korea this upcoming Monday following the execution in order to remain on the good side of the quick-tempered Jong Un.

How long Rodman will remain in hiding is anyone's guess.

"He got in over his head on this one," said one friend identified only as "Dunker." Dunker said the last time he talked to Rodman, which was last week for a game of one-on-one, Rodman didn't appear as biggety as normal.

"He was all quiet like, you know, he had something on his mind, and he played a terrible game that day."

Dunker remembers though, there was something else about Rodman.

"Something he said to me kinda curdled my blood. He said he knew something was going down and he'd probably have to leave town for awhile, but he wouldn't say what it was."

And now after the execution, Dunker was asked, "Do you think it was the execution? That Dennis Rodman knew about the execution and was asked to keep quiet until it was carried out?"

"Worse," said Dunker. "He might just be the next one to be executed," Dunker predicted.

Asked why he thought Kim Jong Un would want to execute his best friend in the whole world, Dunker confided.


"Well, imagine you are Dennis, who, after all, has not led a very saintly existence and you just hear that your North Korean friend has executed his favorite childhood uncle for the charge of leading a 'capitalist decadent lifestyle...a dissolute, depraved life, squandered money...,' etc. Need me to go on?"