Dad said I had to make you pancakes for breakfast, but then we both remembered how it went last year. So get dressed. We're going to IHOP.
Love your smart and hungry son,
Happy Mother's Day...to you, and to me. Oh, yeah, maybe I should mention, I'm pregnant! Isn't that amazing?
Or Mommy Dearest, as you like me to call you. Sorry I forgot to call you again on Mother's Day, or your birthday, or Christmas, for that matter...your last threatened lawsuit pretty much put the quietus on us having a loving relationship, but you are a Mother, now aren't you. So read between the lines.
Your estranged daughter,