Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Palin Hopes to Woo Brown with Speech to Naturist-Christians Group

San Bernardino, CA – When Sarah Palin was approached back in September of last year to speak at a gathering of Christian nudists who were interested in opening a nudist chapter of the Tea Party Movement, she respectfully declined, not wanting to upset her more fundamental followers and fearing a leftist media circus if she even considered it.

However, she was asked again to speak earlier this week and did an abrupt about face. Many are speculating on what exactly happened to change Sarah’s mind. Was it a new openness she’s gained through her many encounters with folks who think differently than she does? Certainly not. Everyone in her camp speaks the same language. Is she ready to dis-robe for liberty? Not likely.

No, the ever-scheming Sarah has a plan. She is doing everything she can to get Scott Brown to acknowledge her as an equal, even to the point of doing things that make her question her belief systems, such as grown-ups, when around children, should always be clothed. Sarah, like most everyone else, equates Scott Brown with nudity. How can they not? His nude centerfold from Cosmopolitan from years ago has been plastered on everything except the side of a downtown D.C. public bus.

In all fairness, a local reporter finally pinned Sarah down and asked her exactly why she’s doing it, “Well, ya know, I am a Christian first and foremost, so that was one of my considerations, and yeah, I’d be lyin’ if I didn’t tell ya Scott had something to do with this. I actually think it’ll be a hoot. I already use an old trick John McCain taught me of imagining my crowd naked when I do my regular speeches anyways, so this will just be more real. The folks who are planning the speech have assured me that no ‘male appendages’ will be in my direct line of vision when I’m looking down at the notes on my palms. I just hope ol’ Scott appreciates the lengths (no pun intended) I’m going to to get him to like me, gosh darn it.”

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