Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Toilet Paper Nation (TPN)--Youngest Grassroots Party to Take on Washington

Butte, MT – A new right-wing fringe political party calling itself the Toilet Paper Nation or (TPN) is the latest and youngest grassroots movement to go after what they believe is a Washington that is out of touch with the youth of America.  The party, made up of mostly high school sophomores, has a simple message for Washington’s business as usual, “Washington, Sh*t or Get off the Pot.”

In an interview today on the Jeff Gray Morning Show on Butte radio station KMBR, Toilet Paper Nation organizer, Hugh R. Cuttinem, 17, explained why he and fellow Toilet Paperer, Nadine Gullberry, decided to start the Toilet Paper Nation. “About a year ago, a few of us Tea Party (TP) teenagers got together after attending a Tea Party rally with our folks, and started shooting the sh*t about how sick and tired we were of Washington flushing our parents’ tax dollars down the toilet, so to speak. We realized how the Tea Party just wasn’t well, our cup of tea. There were too many irregularities in what they stood for. That’s when Nadine said, ‘You know, every time I see TPN, I think Toilet Paper Nation, not Tea Party Nation. From then on, the puns started flowing and what originally started as a joke just gained momentum. We got back to school on Monday and told a few friends and by the end of the day, we had TP delegates in 14 states thanks to Twitter and Facebook. We now have delegates in just about every state.

Cuttinem claims that they are already looking at backing a couple of candidates who are thinking of running in this year’s state races and thinks they have a chance mainly due to their high moral fiber. The teens have been contacted by Joe the Plumber, who has indicated a real willingness to join the TP movement and run for office in Ohio. Just this past weekend, Joe gave a short statement to the press about his disenchantment with the Republican Party and John McCain in particular. He was quoted as saying “McCain was just using me as the face of middle America. He lied to me and he lied to America. I don’t owe him sh*t.” Said Cuttinem, “You see? Joe’s already using the lingo. He’s gonna be a great asset to our movement.”

Gullberry couldn’t agree with Joe more. “We’re the right party for him because we are flush with young, new ideas to turn this country around. We are all about the constitution, and Joe would make a perfect Senator. Just because we are sophomores in high school, doesn’t mean we can’t get involved in the electoral process. In fact, some of our classmates really like the idea. Instead of calling us nerds, we are now known around the country as ‘terds,’” she said proudly, "and soon, hopefully, Joe the Plumber is gonna be the biggest terd of all in Ohio.”

The only problem the group foresees right now is who their #1 and #2 candidates in the 2012 Presidential election should be. Cuttinem says that the old farts, like Dick Cheney, need not apply. “We’re looking more toward Glenn Beck as a possibility for the #1 terd spot, and there is a another guy who we have our eye on by the name of William M. ‘B.M.’ Daley, nephew of Chicago’s Mayor Daley, who is as fed up as us with the two-party system and is chomping at the bit to break from his family’s Democratic roots and run in a grassroots capacity for the Senate seat left vacant by Barack Obama and presently held by Roland Burris, who won’t be running for re-election.”

Grey asked Cuttinem if all the “toilet humor” will wear a bit thin toward election time, ruining their chances of being taken seriously. Cuttinem replied, “[N]ope, young voters relate really well to us and at the same time, we’re being taken just as serious as everyone else who wants to do their business in Washington. The double entendre will serve us well in the upcoming races. It is what people remember about us, and in politics, that’s the only way to roll when building a strong movement.”

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