Friday, February 5, 2010

Prisoner Brutally Beats Cellmate With Prosthetic Arm

Rochester, NY - An inmate at the Monroe County Jail in Rochester, NY is in critical condition after a fellow inmate ripped off his cellmate’s prosthetic arm and beat him with it. Evidently, inmate J. “Johnny” Johnson was not aware that his new cellmate, Hugh Buttnum was fitted with a prosthetic arm when he threatened to “tear off Buttnum’s arm and beat him with the bloody stump."

Said Johnson, “Man, what the hell? I was just sitting there minding my own business when Buttnum starts tap, tap tappin’ his damned fingers on the steel bed and singin’ Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen over and over and over again. I warned him, but he just kept it up until I threatened to rip his arm off and beat him with it. How the hell was I supposed to know someone had already done that and the arm I pulled offa him was fake?”

Johnson is being arraigned on charges of ‘attempted murder while armed.’


  1. ..heheheh yeah how was he supposed to know the guy had lost his arm. and that closer 'while armed' super

  2. yeah, joel, this one was based loosely on a real story. Leave it to me to take it a bit farther down the road.


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