Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas - Tween Postings


What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Nick Jonas? Tiger Woods was married when he “dated” all those other girls. Nick Jonas on the other hand, is quickly approaching Woods as one of the most prolific daters on the Hollywood scene and he seems to prefer Disney dolls to Nickelodeon hotties, although he hasn’t ruled the latter out.

Said Jonas’ manager, “he’s dated so many Disney stars that I just gave up trying to count them. The gossip-istas have him dating Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Jordan Pruitt and a couple others, but those are the stars. Hell, it’s not uncommon to see Jonas making time with the girl that gets him coffee in the morning or any one of the producers’ teen daughters that accompany their parents onto the sets. He may look innocent enough, but man is he a horn dog.” Sources tell us that even a severe talking to by Billy Ray Cyrus last year wasn’t enough to keep Jonas from trying to “board the Bonetown Express” as he put it, on a daily basis.


All over the world, Tweens and Teens alike are clutching their Hannah Montana throw pillows and sobbing uncontrollably that their favorite television personality, Hannah Montana, is gearing up to shoot the last season of the Hannah Montana show.

According to a spokesperson for Disney Channel Worldwide, “the last episode will be bittersweet as we say good-bye to our little Miss Montana.” But one has to wonder if Disney’s explanation that “Miley just wants to grow up and move on,” is the real reason execs have decided to pull the plug on one of the hottest Tween shows to hit the airwaves since “Saved By the Bell.”

Well, we’ve been talking to a few of Cyrus’ friends behind the scenes and a completely different story is emerging as to why Hannah Montana is leaving the airwaves. Seems Cyrus is not the “teen role model” the Disney Channel first saw in her and in fact, she’s become quite the vamp. Disney wants to cut and run before that “inevitable biggest scandal of all hits” and destroys what credibility the show has left. “Sure, they were loving her when she’s all sweet and innocent, but man o’ man, did the s**t hit the fan when they found me and Miley out in the back lot getting it on,” said an undisclosed band member Miley met this past summer. “They did everything but turn the hose on us,” he said.

Said one Disney executive, on the condition of anonymity, “Look, everyone grows up. In the case of Miley Cyrus, she just grew up too fast and we were starting to think that in another season or two, we’d be faced with fans laughing at us for having a show about the youngest ‘cougar’ to ever grace the Disney airwaves.”

Oh what will those little school boys do now without their Miley strutting her stuff on screen in those cute little parochial get ups? Well, fear not, a little unknown by the name of Bridgit Mendler is set to take the next Disney wave to stardom in a new show titled “Good Luck Charlie,” a sitcom that has adorable Mendler playing the part of a big sister in charge of helping raise her youngest brother, Charlie.

So take heart all you adolescents. Tween desire is alive and well at Disney, just don’t get too used to watching Mendler for any more than two or three seasons, because she’s already 17, and by next year, well, she’ll be legal age, and that means more possible headaches for Disney as their “Teen Stars Go Wild” luck is bound to continue.

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