God Bless My Barbeque

Ed Note:  Since this is National BBQ Month, I dusted this off one more time to share with everyone who loves a good brisket...

Today we salute the brave men and women who have fought for this country and that is first and foremost. Thank you for your service.

But I also want to give a shout out to the men and the occasional woman, who have gone to great lengths to make the BBQ grill their blackened idol... this can be sung to America the Beautiful or said as a solemn prayer, your choice. 

(Sung to God Bless America)

God bless my barbeque
Smoke pit and all

I will cherish
And care for it

Through the summer
And into the fall,

From a brisket
to a weiner

To the primest
cut of meat,

God bless my barbeque
it's mighty sweet,

God bless my barbeque

now let's go eat!

Put Me on a Diet (Sung to Eagles' Take it to the Limit)

Eagles' Take it to the Limit

The holidays are approaching fast, and some of us are dreading them simply because we don't want to add on that extra 10 or so pounds experts say we will after all that turkey, gravy, and various sweet treats we'll be over indulging in over the holidays.

So this song is dedicated to all those dedicated dieters out there who need a theme song. The best diet plan in the world is a continual sing-along because it's damned near impossible to sing a song while you're stuffing your face with pie.

Put me on a diet 

(Sung to Take It to the limit)

All alone at the end of my dinner

With the carrots still fresh on my plate

I was thinking do really want to

blow it with a big piece of cake

You know I've always been an eater

(Can't put the fork down)

And the fat seems to pile on

(I'm as tall as I am around)

But the food I've eaten lately

Doesn't hit the spot, can't eat a lot,

I'm ready for a change

So put me on a diet

and show me you care

just put me on a diet

if you dare

I can spend all my time eating chocolates

I can spend all my time eating pie

But if the gravy boat ran out tomorrow

Would I still be fine?

When I'm looking for a diet

(I am the yo-yo man)

I need something that'll work

(A doable diet plan)

Cause I don't wanna die tomorrow,

If I don't stop, I'm gonna pop

the button on my jeans,

So put me on a diet

and show me you care

just put me on a diet

if you dare

Put me on a diet, ohhhhh

Put me on a diet, eeeeee

Put me...on a diet

If you dare

©P. Beckert