Saturday, April 19, 2014

Miley Cyrus Grounded by Her Father, Billy Ray

It was reported Friday, that Miley Cyrus is postponing her Bangerz tour in the U.S. until August due to illness. However, that was just a cover up to the real story.

In fact, it is her father who has finally put his foot down and has grounded Miley for four months, which he says is about long enough to get some new costumes made that, in his words, "will bring back the Hannah Montana we all knew and loved."

Billy Ray Cyrus announced today that his daughter, Miley, won't be performing the remainder of her U.S. concerts due to the fact that he's had it with having to deal with slobbering old men attending her concerts and grabbing at her while she tries to get into her limo.

"For Chrissakes, people, she's only a child!" Cyrus screamed into the mikes thrust in his face after his announcement.

For once, the overly-permissive father has taken a stand and said no more.

"We've tried time outs," said Cyrus, "and they just don't work with Miley. "She just sneaks off to practice her twerking in the studio downstairs," he said.

"Enough of the bumping and grinding already. We get it. You have a no-no down there, ok Miley?" Cyrus screamed, letting his frustrations out in no particular order.

Meanwhile, his wife Tish is devastated.

"I've been living vicariously through Miley for over two years now, and all that is coming to a screeching halt because Billy Ray has suddenly 'found Jesus...again'" said the overly indulgent Tish.

"I hate cowgirl boots, and now I'll have to wear them to every concert again," she said as she stomped out of the room.

She was so hurt, in fact, she could not finish the interview and instead went to get botox injections to ease her pain.

Asked what Miley will do this summer if she can't perform, Cyrus answered "Well, I'm thinking maybe she can go down to the local homeless shelter and help sling hash for the downtrodden."

"Like hell I will," screamed Miley from the basement.

Interestingly, this was the first interview with the entire Miley family that went fairly well for Billy Ray as he indicated, "well, at least I have a lock on the outside of the door to the 'twerk-out' room."

As a follow up to this interview, we spoke to a few people who run the homeless shelters in Los Angeles, and they admit they would love to have Miley come and help feed the homeless, "but only if she wears that hot number with the white gorilla arms."

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