Is New Age All It's Cracked Up to Be?

Ok, so I'm taking my husband to work. On the radio is some guy telling me how I can improve my life through my thoughts. How I can make my intentions come true if I only change my thinking from negative to positive basically. I realize it's Wayne Dyer discussing his book "The Power of Intention."

I'm hooked, so I listen after I drop the husband off. On the way to a department store, and while Dyer is talking, I'm telling myself, "I've got to turn my negatives into positives. I'll start right away." So when I get to the store, I say a quick meditation in the car that I'll have a positive shopping experience, which, for the most part I did.

To make sure the Universe was taking note, I even picked up stray clothing on the floor and put it back on the rack. The best part was taking a pair of 13 Junior jeans into the dressing room and having enough room left over that I could have bought an 11. The new me was undeterred when I couldn't find an 11 and ended up settling on the size 13.

From the little bit I learned from Wayne Dyer from the time I dropped my husband off to the time I made it to the department store, (roughly fifteen minutes of the 'new me') I'm thinking the Universe could have rewarded me by finding me an 11, but I cut it some slack seeing as I didn't want to upset the apple cart over anything so trivial as a pair of jeans. 

Instead, I turned that negative into a positive by telling myself I can now have that piece of cake that has been staring at me from the fridge for the past two days. So far so good. Maybe I was getting the hang of it after all.

Ok, so then I decided to make my way over to the supermarket and get stuff for dinner. 

Well, folks, either the affirmations I did in the parking lot didn't take, or the Universe is just not ready for me to be a happy soul, because on my way to the store, a woman cut me off in traffic and then waved me off...thus the first FU from my mouth..."oops...calm down," I tell myself.

"You are sending too much negative energy your way."

Calmly, I made my way to the store, bought my groceries, and was wheeling the cart to my car when another woman in a huge truck almost backed right into me--yup, inches from death, I scream out "WTF? You almost hit me you crazy ...mffmph..." I tried (honest I did) to stuff the words back into my mouth without much success.

I'm not sure how, but my new-found enlightenment was taking an ugly turn for the worse. When I got home, I started dinner. Not only did I burn the potatoes, but the asparagus as well, as I went online to write this story before I 'lost it' forever. I'm sorry, but what good is the Universe if it doesn't send gentle reminders my way that my food is about to catch fire?

Bottom line...I'm not sure Dr. Dyer is living in the same world as me. I can try all I want, but something keeps jumping in front of me and begging me to curse at it. WTF? Dyer? WTF?