Sunday, June 19, 2011

Arnold Schwarzenegger Accomplishes Biggest Lifetime Achievement

Arnold Schwarzenegger has been in the news a lot recently due to a story that broke regarding his fathering a love child with his housekeeper many years ago. While this is something he is definitely not proud of, the former Governor of California credits the scandal with bringing to an end one of the biggest irritations of his professional career.

What exactly is that milestone you ask? Actually, this is the first time since Schwarzenegger became a household name that everyone one from 3rd grade up is finally able to correctly spell his last name without Googling it or putting a (?) next to it.

“I have been waiting for this day all my life,” said Schwarzenegger at a recent red carpet event. “I was beginning to think there really was a “t” in the middle of my name. And," he continued, "had I not constantly screwed up in my life, I may never have known the pleasure this day has brought me."

Schwarzenegger has some advice for fellow actors Zach Galifianakis and Shia LaBeouf.

“Get out there men and make some waves any way you can. It’s easier than you think. Just have unprotected sex with a maid or get drunk and run into a fire hydrant. Hell, guys, take drugs if that is what it will take to get your name in the headlines 24/7. Before you know it, you too will be able to read stories about yourself without finding that effin’ question mark following your name.”

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