New York, NY - A Hoboken toy shop owner is suing a Chinese doll manufacturer for unspecified damages claiming that the “cursing” dolls he ordered “don’t even f**king talk.”
Hoping to cash in on the annual round of innocent dolls, i.e. Elmo, Jr., bought by parents that, when taken out of the packaging, are found to be hot-wired to say something off-color, and thereby adding to the doll’s value, Hal Hapless saw an ad in a doll trade magazine for “cursing” dolls made by a Chinese manufacturer and quickly ordered 10,000 of the dolls.
“I ordered 10,000 of the cutest little “Wanga Dolls,” he said. I figured with a name like wanga, well, I was hoping they’d say something at least bad enough to make a few indignant mommas cry foul, return the dolls to me, contact their local television stations and voila! It wouldn’t be long before I was making the circuit on morning news shows and raking in a huge profit on those trash talkin’ barbies.”
But Hapless’ plan went horribly awry. “When I got the boxes, I was so elated. I couldn’t wait to hear what the dolls said.” Turns out, the “cursing” dolls were really voodoo dolls meant to be used in voodoo rituals. They weren’t talking dolls at all.
Hapless’ calls to the Chinese manufacturer have so far met with futility. “What the hell am I supposed to do with 10,000 f**king cursing dolls that don’t f**king curse? This is so f**king unbelievable, I just cant f**ing believe it.