Thursday, August 22, 2013

Labor Day Boycott Planned by Working Class Across America

Labor Day is now the most hated holiday of all in America. Unemployment remains high, salaries are the lowest they’ve been since the early ‘70’s inflation-wise, and most people hate their bosses, most of who make upwards of 600% more than their employees.

The Labor Day holiday does nothing more today than remind millions of Americans that they have nothing to celebrate. Americans want to be working, not taking another day off—most without pay. That’s why the majority of out-of-work Americans are boycotting the Labor Day holiday and going to work, anywhere, regardless of whether or not they work there.

Workers will be showing up at factories unannounced and turning on the equipment necessary to make cars, appliances and other consumer goods. They will be turning the lights on at banks and handling money like it was any other work day. They will be washing cars, pumping gas, and babysitting, anything to keep themselves busy.

In fact, so many people are planning to show up at a job on this, their rightful day off, that it is expected to skew the unemployment numbers, not to mention confuse the hell out of CEOs and other members of the actual elite class of people lucky enough to have real jobs.


But fear not, come Tuesday, September 3, everyone will be back at home, jobless, and everything will again return to normal.

3 comments:

  1. 'actual elite class of people lucky enough to have real jobs'

    Maybe they're just the 'elite class' that has the willpower to work hard and put in long hours knowing what they're doing helps their company prosper and survive, but not gripe like a bunch of self-inflated whiners who thinks a company owes them something for nothing.
    Not very funny and you really need to find better materials and a sense of humor might help too.

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  2. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/satire

    To be clear, was going for scorn and irony, not laughs. Nothing funny about unemployment.

    For the record, Anonymous, your apparent disdain for the poor working class in this country is palpable. Have a happy and prosperous life. Don't worry about us. We'll be fine. Again, see the sarcasm?

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