Do They Make Bowling Balls for Little People?

My husband is an idea person. Ever since I’ve known him, he has told me his ideas on many products he would like see on the market. He is one of those people who actually sees a new product and will say “don’t you remember I mentioned this to you as a great idea a month ago?” intimating that it was his original idea, and lamenting the fact that someone with the ingenuity and backing beat him to the market.

Once, he took one of his ideas so far as to come up with a complete drawing of a contraption to plug the leak during the Gulf oil spill crisis. He had me scan it and send it to an e-mail address he got from a television report. He got a reply back thanking him for his suggestion, and, to be fair, his idea was one of the ones that others had come up with and was actually considered as a viable solution to the problem.

So, believe me when I say that he doesn’t just come up with any old idea. He thinks things through before he just puts these ideas out there.

Which brings me to today’s conversation as I was driving him to work. We were discussing a sweat problem. He works with the public and although I’ve never noticed him having an underarm sweat problem, he assures me it is very real and very problemsome.

This led to a conversation about his idea for dealing with underarm perspiration--underarm sweat pads. He told me he has been thinking of a way to remedy the situation and gave me a rough vision of the product he envisions which involves two rubber bands and a folded paper towel. Ingenious, I tell him. What a great idea.

“Yeah, but the rubber bands start to hurt after a while,” he complained. “I’ll need to use wider bands,” he said seriously.

In my mind I am picturing him using fabric headbands strategically placed over Bounty paper towels because let’s face it, they are the quicker picker-upper. With that image in my mind, I tell him back, seriously, that I’ll check the internet for some products that might be helpful, although judging from the zealous way he attacks the problem, I am assuming he doesn’t believe such a product could exist and he is the first person to have thought of a solution.

And then he hits me with another of his serious ideas to make this a better world…bowling balls for midgets. He doesn’t know that they are now called little people, but nevertheless, I can tell by the way he brings up the issue that he is obviously concerned for their safety. He claims he can’t imagine them being able to bowl with a large ball because they have such little fingers, never mind the weight of the ball issue.

Who can argue with that kind of logic? I think for a minute and tell him “Well, I would guess that if midgets (little people) do bowl, they could use a child’s bowling ball.”

He agrees instantly. “Yes, I guess that would work,” he said smiling as if a load had been lifted off his shoulders.

So, we left it at that. I dropped him off at work and went back home to look up underarm sweat products and found quite a few on the market, which, I’m sure, he’ll say someone stole his idea, even though none of the products involve paper towels or rubber bands.

As for the midget bowling balls, I could find no bowling balls advertised as being targeted toward little people. Instead, I found a whole page of Google links to a pastime called “midget bowling,” and plenty of links by the LPA (Little People of America) assuring everyone out there that little people are people, not bowling balls. Evidently, when it comes to bowling, some genius who doesn’t have the little peoples’ interests at heart thinks that greasing up a little guy and throwing him down the lane toward the bowling pins is the correct way to take a little person bowling.

Nevertheless, if for no reason other than the fact that little people should have the same abilities as full-size people, I am going to encourage my husband to pursue his dream of developing a line of bowling balls specifically targeted toward Little People. Who knows? The PBA may just one day include a chapter known as the LPPBA (Little People Professional Bowlers Association) and it could all be due to one man’s dream of making this a better world for everyone.