Michaele Salahi Not Abducted by Aliens After All; She's Just Rocking Out

Michaele Salahi was reported missing by her husband Tareq Salahi on Wednesday when he looked all around their house and couldn’t find her. Her usual lipstick-stained coffee mug with her name on it in gold was not in the kitchen sink, and the bed on her side of the room looked as if it had been slept in but was empty.

Tareq Salahi reported his wife Michaele Salahi missing and told Warren County, Virginia authorities that he thought aliens might be to blame.

“I saw flashing lights in the driveway around 6 a.m.,” said Tareq, “heard the clear humming of an engine that might have been the hum of a spaceship, and the eerie shadows on the wall of a tall, gaunt figure running down the hall.”

Tareq claims that at first, he thought he was dreaming and went back to sleep but when he awoke hours later, Michaele was nowhere to be found.

Tareq assumes it could only have been aliens as Michaele would never leave without telling him exactly where she was going. It was just something they did.

Once the story of her disappearance hit the wires, however, a different explanation emerged. “She went running off with a rock star,” said Michaele’s sister, Ann Coulter. “I mean, really, have you seen Tareq? I wonder why it took her this long to finally ditch his ass.”

Michaele Salahi has been found in Tennessee in the arms of Neal Schon of the band, Journey. When asked if she has anything to say to Tareq, she said “Yeah, I want my coffee mug, oh and Rock On, Dude!” Salahi added, “This is so much cooler than hanging out in the White House.”