Michele Bachmann Claims Soul Scrubbing May Someday Cure Gayness

By now, just about everyone has heard rumors about Michele Bachmann’s husband’s attempts to find ways to cure gayness through therapy. While most people believe this simply cannot be done, others are interested in knowing more about another, more secretive, experiment the Bachmanns are involved with through the Fellowship, aka the Family.

The Family is a US-based religious and political organization with deep connections to Washington and it pretty much sets the standard for practicing Christians, telling them what they can and cannot think or believe. With the vast amount of money the Family is putting behind this new secretive research project, many of those involved claim it has more than an 80% chance of success.

Dubbed “Hetero-Soul” the project aims to free gay men and women from the confines of their sexual leanings, help them get rid of their “gay” mannerisms, and help them become more attractive to the opposite sex. But more than that, this program aims to actually go deeper into these individuals’ souls and cleanse them with a process called “soul scrubbing,” a process much like washing the mouth out with soap after a child has uttered curse words.

At a recent fundraiser, Bachmann was asked whether she believed Soul Scrubbing actually worked to erase the gay tendencies of men and women, to which she responded that while the research is in the early stages, i.e. it hasn’t actually been tested on humans (or barbarians as her husband refers to them) yet, she does believe the concept is doable.

In fact, as Michele was giving this interview, Marcus Bachmann was seen leaving the second of several gay bars he planned on frequenting for the evening trying to find test subjects for his Soul Scrubbing. When reporters caught up with him and asked him what he was doing in the company of the gay men, he would only say that he was on a secret mission to save souls.