Top Reason Republicans are Secretly Afraid of Sarah Palin

A new book out by Joe McGinnis entitled The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin has everyone from Wasilla to Washington abuzz over the woman who would have everyone think she is most likely the best person in the world to run the United States. But the buzz is not good. Evidently, the book points out very clearly that those closest to Palin are the ones who hate her the most.

According to those Alaskans who know her best, getting Sarah mad is not a smart thing to do. Seems just about every Republican who has come in contact with her knows this, swears she can’t be trusted, and seems to be doing everything in their power to see that she doesn’t run for, or get elected to, the office of President of the United States.

Why? Simple. “She is the epitome of a high school sophomore bitch,” claims one high-ranking Republican who wished to remain anonymous. “Sarah Palin can spread false lies and rumors faster than anyone I’ve ever known and that makes us fellow Republicans very, very nervous.” In fact, those that know her say she puts MCGinnis to shame when it comes to spreading lies and innuendo.

A source close to Palin confirms this tidbit about ‘Sarah the Barracuda.’ “While all of the other Republican candidates are busy boning up on things like American history, current events, even learning how to pronounce unpronounceable names of world leaders, Sarah is doing her homework too, albeit on much different subjects.”

According to the unidentified source, Sarah Palin takes the term ‘boning up’ to a whole new level. “Sarah is rooting around in her opponents’ closets to find skeletons that she can use against them. To her, it’s so much easier to destroy an opponent’s reputation than to have to compete with them intellectually.”

This is exactly what Sarah Palin did when she held public office in Alaska. She destroyed her opponents by filing complaints against them and publicly challenging some of the most loved and respected Republicans in Alaska [see Ted Stevens]. This type of political back-stabbing has put Republicans on high alert and has many working around the clock to scrub any of their own personal records that might remotely hint at impropriety.

While Rick Perry claims he could care less about “some little missy from Wasissy” as he put it, rumor is that Palin is hot on his tail. Palin was recently caught wondering out loud “Don’tcha think that Rick Perry is handsome?” she was overheard saying. “I can’t help but wonder with someone that good lookin’ he must have at least one or two mistresses out there who would just love to tell their side of the story.”