Pollution in Lake Michigan Forces UFOs to Surface in Record Numbers

Public officials have been at a loss to explain numerous UFO sightings off Illinois’ east coastal area within the last few months. While there are usually one or two sightings reported each month, in the month of July alone, there were 13 sightings, two of which are being studied as serious anomalies.

Judd and Bitzi Gother of Highland Park, Ill were having a late dinner party on their yacht “Got Her Bling” with a few friends when Bitzi claims she looked up into the sky and saw several colored lights spinning at a distance directly above their heads. “It was so freaky.” said Bitzi, “One minute I’m eating my shrimp cocktail and the next, I’m seeing colors. I thought maybe I’d bitten into a bad prawn, haw haw haw haw," she said jokingly.

The Gothers and their guests weren’t the only ones who filed a report that evening. The fact there were so many reports caught the attention of the local chapter of SETI (Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence) to come and investigate. What they found was evidence that there may be hundreds of colonies of extraterrestrial beings living on the floor of Lake Michigan, and possibly one or two other Great Lakes, who have found it necessary to suddenly move to a more desirable location.

“Lake Michigan is polluted,” claims Claire Hudwink, a scientist who, for the past 30 years, has been studying the possibility that alien life does exist under our water systems. “And we are thinking that the stench is just too much for these alien creatures to withstand.”

“Imagine you’re living in a beautiful home of your dreams and someone comes to your house with a semi-tractor trailer full of garbage and dumps it on your front step. You can clean the mess up but you may never get rid of the stench that permeates your yard. This is what these aliens are faced with from our decades of dumping our garbage in various bodies of water in and around the United States.”

Hudwink claims that additional sightings of UFOs hovering over the more pristine bays up around the Arctic Circle may be the same ships that were seen leaving Lake Michigan. “They have the capacity to dive so deep and then hide themselves when they reach the bottom of these bodies of water that we just can’t track them,” said Hudwink. She says the only way we may be able to force them out again would be to stage a large dumping event near Prudhoe Bay and hope we can sniff them out. “Lord knows we have the manpower and the garbage to get the job done,” said Hudwink.