Rick Perry Wins Over Evangelicals by Speaking in Tongues

By most Christian leaders’ estimates, Rick Perry’s “The Response,” a national day of prayer and fasting, was a pretty big success. Backed by the American Family Association, Perry pulled in about 30,000 Christian followers to Reliant Stadium in Houston.

While Perry claims his main goal was to bring people together to pray for America, there can be no doubt that the true purpose behind the rally was to win support of the Evangelicals for his eventual run for President. With that in mind, Perry and his people knew that it would take a lot more than a fancy stage, some good old-fashioned Bible thumping, and a no-barbeque prayer meeting to convince America’s Evangelicals he was their guy.

While Perry acknowledged at the rally that “I am one of you,” referring to his being a devout Evangelical, he backed it up with strong words—in a totally undecipherable language. That’s right, Rick Perry began speaking in tongues. While he only did so for a short while, it had an amazing impact on the crowd.

“From that point forward,” claims a close Perry adviser, “we knew he had the support he was looking for, and he was going to enter into the Presidential race with a new-found confidence.”

After the rally dispersed, Perry was asked to comment on his experience.

“Wow, that was incredible,” he said. “I always wondered how they did that. I had no idea until now how it felt to have the Holy Spirit enter your body,” he marveled.

“Just a quick question,” said Perry. “Was that a real ghost? I mean, I’m not gonna be like possessed or anything now, am I?”