Republicans Block Obama Proposal to Change National Anthem to Kumbaya

In an attempt to try to sell the public on the notion that both sides of Congress have come together for the common good of America in agreeing to disagree on most everything related to the national debt, President Obama, before going off to try and sell a second term to his constituents, suggested the National Anthem be changed to Kumbaya.

 Kumbaya is an African-American spiritual song which translates to "Come by Here" and through the years has come to symbolize peace, harmony and compassion toward our fellow man. It is a standard song sung around campfires, in cars by families heading out on the road together, and now, President Obama wants the song to replace the Star-Spangled Banner as our national anthem.

The move didn’t set well with Republicans as you can imagine. "First of all," claims Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky), "before now, no one even knew what the song meant. Oh sure, it makes everyone feel all fuzzy warm when they sing it, I guess, but what the hell does 'come by here' have to do with America as a nation? Nothing."

Sen. Lindsey Graham chimed in as well. "I've listened to the lyrics and let me just say that Americans singing ‘someone's sleeping, Lord,' has terrorist attack written all over it. Once our combatant enemies see that we are asleep at the wheel, do you honestly think they aren't going to come after us? The whole thing makes us sound like we're just a country of namby-pambys."

When Senator Graham was told that the lyrics actually were four verses which included "someone's laughing, Lord, someone's crying, Lord, someone's praying, Lord, and someone's singing, Lord," Graham stated "Well then, that's worse. Makes us sound like we're all manic depressive."

The song proposal didn’t even make it to a House vote before being shelved. “I’d dare the President to come up with just one American to believe that the Democrats and Republicans really did come together for that debt ceiling vote. It was just a way to clear the slate so we could all go on vacation. This fight is far from over,” said John Boehner, who then told the press he’s taking a road trip up the New England coast with his family.

Shame," claims Obama. "I really thought we were coming together as a nation and changing our anthem would seal the deal. Guess we just aren't there yet, but I do have hope." To which Boehner responded, “Oh hell, if it makes him feel any better, I’ll get the kids to sing Kumbaya on the way to Martha’s Vineyard.”