Psychiatrist Pressured by GOP to Recant Statements About 2012 Candidates

“They’re all pretty much a little nuts in my opinion,” claims Hans Bruchtern, Psy.D., resident psychologist at Tri-State Valley Hospital in Kentucky. Dr. Bruchtern was being interviewed for an upcoming magazine article focusing on the rise in personality disorder diagnoses in Americans within the past two decades. When asked what he thought about some of the outrageous claims Tea Party candidates such as Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry have made recently on the campaign trail, Bruchtern was extremely candid.

“Oh, it’s not just the fact that Tea Party candidates are saying loopy things,” he said. “Judging from what these candidates say they are going to do if they become President of the United States should have most Americans shaking in their boots. I think just about every candidate out there has some sort of personality disorder that needs to be treated, and if one of them is elected, we may just become the Untied States of America.”

Asked to elaborate, Bruchtern told the reporter “Honestly? I think they’re all pretty much narcissistic to some degree. Some more so than others.”

Bruchtern claims that the better-looking candidates such as Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann and Mitt Romney have gotten by in life on their looks and therefore, when they hit the campaign trail, “they pretty much think they can say what they want to get votes and people will just fall all over them. They honestly believe they are America’s only hope.”

Asked if there is a test out there that can be taken by the candidates to determine once and for all if, in fact, they do suffer from personality disorders and if so, are any of them a threat, especially if they do get elected, Bruchtern answered cautiously.

“Let’s look at someone who is definitely considered by the psychiatric community to suffer from borderline personality disorder, i.e. Dick Cheney,” said Dr. Bruchtern. Now mind you, no one will admit this, and I probably wouldn’t accept any invites from him to go hunting after giving this interview, but the fact of the matter is that man, to this day, still believes that waterboarding is not a form of torture. That, in and of itself, speaks volumes.”

Once the interview was completed, the reporter asked the good doctor to spell his name correctly for the publication. “Sure, said the doctor. That’s Hans, spelled J-o-h-n, Bruchtern, spelled S-m-i-t-h.”