Got Cannabis? Ad Campaign Convinces Big Names to Star in Commercials

In one of the largest attempts yet to get the word out on legalization of marijuana in California, a large Los Angeles public relations firm by the name of Blunt and Schuster (BSPR) has come up with a ‘Got Cannabis?’ ad campaign that will star some heavy hitters from the entertainment world.

Like the ‘Got Milk?’ campaign years ago touting the benefits of drinking milk, the Got Cannabis? campaign will pull out all the stops to inform the public just how beneficial pot smoking is. The tag line for the campaign will be “Pot, It’s not just for getting high anymore,” alluding to the fact that medical marijuana is just one of the reasons that marijuana should no longer be considered a controlled or illegal substance.

Already the campaign has received confirmation from such notables as Jennifer Aniston, Steve Martin, Jon Stewart and Lady Gaga to star in the ads. “The bennies to doing an ad campaign where every set has a lit bong going is all the payment I need,” said Martin, who admitted that the only time he doesn’t smoke pot is at dawn. Of course, the actors will receive monetary compensation for their time. BSPR says it’s just a matter of hashing out the details.

In addition to the above celebrities, talks are ongoing to get Roseanne and Jack Nicholson to appear in ads as well. BSPR has indicated that a few other very well-known celebrities have caught wind of the project and are eager to offer their talents as well as the campaign progresses.

Doona Blunt, top creative executive at BSPR claims that this ad campaign will finally lift the lid off the stigma of legalizing marijuana and allow the truth to come out. “It will be bigger than Save the Whales, that guy in the Old Spice commercials, or even Ted Williams’ voiceover for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.”

The ads are expected to air right around the 4^th of July and will feature a semi-nude Jennifer Aniston holding a blunt with one hand and her naked breast with the other, asking, “If you had a choice between attending parties with rowdy drunks or mellowed-out pot heads, which would you choose?”

When you Picnic this Monday, Don't Forget to Plan Fun Activities for the Kids

When Daddy said we was gonna

go do something fun this Memorial Day,

I was thinking ice cream and ponies

You should see the gun

that fires these suckers off

 Jeb (8) and Buddy (6) were the designated

shooters at this little longneck soiree

Oops, sorry Mom and Dad, didn't mean to
interrupt your militia meeting. Just wanted
another juice box and some blasting caps.

Ed Note:  This is a satire site and as such, I am obligated to write satire.

As much as I detest this particular style of parenting, I must balance the ludicrous with the mundane, and throw in a pinch of sensationalism. I believe I have done so here. Have a safe and happy Memorial Day.

How to Tell if Your Neighbor Drinks Too Much

Originally Posted 6/29/09

I am sure we've all run across a neighbor or two in our lifetime that just could not say no to a drink. Every neighborhood has at least one “Otis” of Mayberry fame, who goes through life thinking everyone else is the one with the problem. If you think you might have a neighbor with a drinking problem, but you're just not that sure, here are a few signs you can look for in determining whether or not to keep your stash of favorite beer inside your house instead of in the garage refrigerator.

Signs that your neighbor may drink too much:

You’re starting to hear “hey, you got any beer?” in your sleep.

He just put in a new swimming pool, paid for entirely from proceeds of his recycled aluminum cans.

He thinks a boozehound is a breed of dog.

He filed a lawsuit against the local restaurant for discrimination for sending him a coupon for free food, that excluded alcoholic beverages.

The local beer distributor makes regular stops to his home.

One day his wife rearranged the furniture while he was out, and he thought they'd moved.

Every time you try to tell him about the 12-step program, he tells you he can’t even learn the two-step.

He borrows your rider mower, and you later see it parked at the local bar.

He quotes Homer Simpson.

The waste department sends out a special recycling truck every week just to handle his empties.

Every time someone tells him he needs to go to AA, he claims he’s not a member.

He drives a late model Schwinn.

When introducing himself, he says, “Hi, my name’s Scooter, but everyone calls me Bud.”

He’s the only guy at a picnic who can use his belly as a tray table.

He constantly brags about the money he saves “watering the bushes.”

He thinks getting ahead means pouring his beer into a glass very, very fast.

The local Mini-Mart has been re-named “Bud’s” in honor of his patronage.

And…You need a million proofs of purchase to get one Budweiser outdoor awning. He’s got 5.

So, if after reading this list you still aren’t sure if your neighbor is a tippler, sit outside on the front lawn some evening with your wife and a little cooler of beer and see how many seconds it takes for him to walk on up and ask “hey, ya got any more beer?”