Showing posts with label Washington. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Washington. Show all posts

Monday, August 11, 2014

Austinites Dumbfounded Over Forbes Pick of Washington D.C. as Coolest City

Citizens of Austin, Texas are said to be somewhat confused over a new Forbes Magazine article naming Washington, D.C. the coolest city in America. But, true to their calm nature, they are taking the designation in stride.

"Forbes is losing its grip on reality," said one Austin City dweller, who claims she moved there from Washington specifically to see what it was like to live in a cool college town.

Sienna Torreid, originally born in Washington, D.C., claims growing up in the nation's capital was a bit like 'living with your grandfather all the time.'  

"I never saw so many old farts in my life," claims the 27-year old marketing analyst. "The only thing cool about Washington, D.C. is the weather. In fact, it can get downright cold there," said Torreid.

Torreid is thinking of putting together a petition to get the President to sign an executive order disallowing Forbes to publish inane poll results.

But Austin did make it into the top ten, coming in third just behind Seattle.

"Sure, Seattle, I can believe," said Torreid. "I mean it is the home of grunge rock. Grunge rock is way cooler than politics," she concluded, "but not as cool as weird."


Friday, January 10, 2014

New Marijuana Laws Spur Highest Home Prices in Years

New numbers have come out in the housing sector, indicating that in the next year, the states of Washington and Colorado will have the highest number of home sales in the country. Some other states are not too far behind. What makes these states so successful? Analysts say it is the passage of laws these past few years making the use of medicinal marijuana finally legal.

In Washington and Colorado, especially, new laws make it legal to possess and use small amounts of recreational marijuana. It is for this reason, folks from all over the United States are flocking to those states to live in blissful freedom from archaic laws blocking the use of marijuana.

Mobile home lots and vacant land sales in Washington and Colorado alone are poised to skyrocket as Boomers (folks in their 50s and 60s) pick up sticks and move to the new promised land.

Marigold Sunshine Parker has been running the family’s mobile home/trailer park in Hudson, Colorado for going on three decades. She was one of the first people to light up on January 1st without fear of being arrested.

“Finally,” said Parker, 65, a self-proclaimed flower child from way back..

“I had to become a grandma before I could smoke a doobie legally, but I made it,” she said, her long arthritic fingers barely able to grip the joint she was relishing.

Parker, part American Indian from the Shoshone Tribe, stated simply, “It’s a good day to toke.”

“All these years I was barely scraping by, my ailments getting worse, doctor's bills piling up," she said.

“Now that pot is legal, I can grow my own and treat myself with fewer doctor visits. On top of that, I’m selling property like crazy. When it rains, it pours," she chuckled, her blue eyes twinkling beneath an even bluer Colorado sky.

Parker says that she now has a waiting list for homes in her 55+ adult mobile home community with park-like setting due to the high (no pun intended) demand from folks like her wanting to come live in the land of the free.

“And the community get-togethers are so much more groovy, now,” she beamed.

“We’re like kids again,” she said, putting down her joint and taking another bite of a brownie her neighbor Aspen brought over that morning, and washing it down with some home-made herbal tea.

According to last year’s records, it seems to be that way all over the state. Not only are trailer parks filling up to capacity, but sales of single-family homes, condos, co-ops and even small recreational cabins in both Washington and Colorado have almost tripled in price.

Major home builders are taking notice as well, opening local offices and designing homes that fit more in line with the "hippie" lifestyle many boomers are wishing to re-live.

Tony Landson, chief architect at New Horizon Homes out of Providence, Rhode Island, says his company has just opened an office in Denver. Landson says he has been asked to design several models, complete with built-in sun rooms and gardens where marijuana can thrive year-round in Denver. He claims more companies are doing the same.

As word spreads of the economic uptick due to these new marijuana laws, more and more states are taking notice, which makes the boomers in America very happy.

Hi and Lois Baxter of Chico, California, have worked hard for years to get a ballot measure passed in their state paving the way to becoming the next state to legalize recreational pot. And while medicinal marijuana has been legal in California for years, Hi says it is high time the good people of California were able to smoke their pot out in the open and not just those who have medical problems.

"Imagine," said Hi, who is unfortunately fit as a fiddle, "growing my own pot in my own back yard," he said wistfully, while his wife, Lois, just rolled her eyes and smiled.

"That's all he's been talking about for the past three, four years now," said Lois.

Dan “Big Dan” Olsen, 63, of Yakima Bluffs Home Sales in Yakima, Washington, likened this latest housing boom to the gold rush of 1869.

“Who knew pot would be the one thing that brought so many Americans back out West to help re-build this part of the nation?

Dan then pumped his fist into the air signaling solidarity and yelled “Rock on dudes,” before excusing himself to go about tending to his indoor herb garden.

In a related story, Florida was just named the most unfriendly place to relocate by AARPPG (American Association of Retired Persons and Pot Growers) due to its continuing strict anti-marijuana laws. Real estate prices there are expected to remain flat until enough signatures are obtained and a measure is put on the ballot making medicinal marijuana legal in that state.

 AARPPG warns that Florida could lose its status as the best place to retire if the measure isn't placed on the ballot. So far, supporters of the law say they have the required number of signatures on a petition to accomplish this, but fear the powers that be in Tallahassee will find some reason to strike the petition down.

However, with the latest news about the housing sector being positively influenced by the passage of marijuana laws in the other states, Florida is looking more and more like another proving ground for making marijuana legal.


Bumper stickers are popping up all over Florida urging Governor Rick Scott and his supervisor of elections to allow the bill on the ballot by stating "Don't Bogart that Bill, My Friend--Pass it!"

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Legalization of Marijuana in Washington and Colorado Causing New Housing Boom


New numbers have come out indicating that in the next year, the states of Washington and Colorado will have the highest number of home sales in the country. What makes these states so successful? The numbers indicate that it may very well be the legalization of marijuana for recreational use. Mobile home sales and lots of land alone are poised to skyrocket.

Marigold Sunshine Parker has been growing her own marijuana for decades while running the family’s mobile home park in Bremerton, Washington. She was one of the first people to light up on December 6 without fear of being arrested.

“Finally,” said Parker, 65, “I had to become a grandma before I could smoke a joint legally, but I made it,” she said, her long arthritic fingers barely able to grip the joint she was relishing. “It’s a good day to toke,” she said, but then added an ironic twist.

“All these years I was scraping by, not knowing if and when I’d ever sell a trailer to make enough to buy some pot illegally,” she said.

“Now that it’s legal, I can grow my own, and I’m selling property like crazy. When it rains, it pours, she chuckled, her blue eyes twinkling beneath an even bluer Washington sky.

Parker says that she now has a waiting list for homes in her 55+ adult mobile home community with park-like setting due to the high (no pun intended) demand from folks like her wanting to come live in the land of the free.

“And the community get-togethers are so much better now,” she beamed. “We’re like kids again,” she said, putting down her joint and taking another bite of a brownie her neighbor Harriett brought over that morning and washing it down with some home-made herbal tea.

According to last month’s records, it seems to be that way all over the state. Not only are trailer parks filling up to capacity, but sales of single-family homes, condos, co-ops and even small recreational cabins in both Washington and Colorado have almost doubled in price.

Other states in the nation are taking notice, which makes the boomers in America very happy.

Dan “Big Dan” Olsen, 63, of Yakima Mobile Home Sales had this to say “Who knew that pot would be the one thing that finally brought this country out of a slump?” Then he pumped his fist into the air and yelled “Rock on dudes,” before tending to his indoor herb garden.

In a related story, Florida was just named the unfriendliest place to relocate by AARPP (American Association of Retired Persons and Potheads) due to the strict anti-marijuana laws. Real estate prices there are expected to remain flat until legislators come to their senses.