Thank God it’s Friday Has Become Moot in America

For decades, workers uttered the phrase Thank God it’s Friday, or TGIF for short, to indicate their relief at making it through another work week. Their co-workers would nod their heads in agreement as everyone looked forward to two glorious days off of work.

But the saying “all good things must come to an end” couldn’t be truer when it comes to TGIF, as the U.S. Supreme Court has ruled in favor of a motion filed by the United Workers of America (UWA) to remove the phrase from the lexicon of American Sociology.

“We weren’t quite ready to get rid of the saying” claims U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John G. Roberts, “as we felt there were enough workers with jobs yet who might still appreciate being able to say those 4 simple words.”

But Roberts and the other Justices changed their minds when an Amicus Brief was filed by the United Part-Time Workers of America (UPTWA) bringing to light just how offensive the term TGIF has become.

John Rambling of Saginaw, Michigan, chief spokesperson for UPTWA explained the reasons for the Amicus Brief. “There is no longer such a thing as a full 40-hour work week. In fact, that dinosaur has left the planet. Workers are now being forced to cram a full 40-hour list of duties into a 20-25 hour work week, and they don’t work Monday through Friday. They work over the course of seven days. So TGIF is not only moot, it has become a highly offensive phrase to American workers.

Meanwhile, the United Bankers of America (JERKS) filed their own Amicus Brief with the Supreme Court basically telling the Supreme Court they have no problem with allowing the phrase TGIF to be stricken from America’s list of phrases.

“Sure,” said Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan, “we still work from Monday to Friday, 9 to 5, but if we have to pat ourselves on the back at the end of a hard work week, we’re good with changing the phrase to “Thank God We Still Have Jobs.”