Obama Vows to Kick Lobbyists Out of Washington Offices

Plans on Turning K Street into a Giant Dunk Tank

Washington, DC – Today, President Barack Obama took one of his strongest stands to date against the corporate interests dogging his efforts to bring true change to America. Not only is he planning on issuing a mandate that sends all the corporate lobbyists with offices on K Street packing, but he intends to do something no other President before him has had the guts to do. Obama is going to make each and every one of them pay for the shameful way they’ve attempted to openly buy off the American people but also the government of the United States of America.

Beginning next week, construction will begin on a three-block long giant dunk tank with approximately 100 booths filled with water and collapsible seats. Lobbyists will be made to take turns for hours on end while ordinary citizens are welcomed to come up and take a shot at the lobbyist of their choice. There will be booths with lobbyists representing the oil, gas and coal industries, as well as the financial industry, including investment bankers, mortgage lenders, brokerage houses, and savings and loan institutes .

The NRA lobbyists will provide quite a few targets for its ability to get more and more guns on the streets and ultimately in the hands of the wrong people and fundamental Christian groups will also have a pew or two for those lobbyists who have succeeded in duct-taping politics and religion back together again and tainting our politicians with their “salvation for votes” schemes.

The hottest seats expected to draw the biggest crowds will be the insurance and pharmaceutical industries. In fact, there are expected to be so many people jockeying for a try to dunk these lobbyists that queue lines akin to those found at amusement parks will be placed in front of those dunk tanks.

Each week, President Obama plans on having a “special guest” to dunk. Hopefully, if all goes well, Dick Cheney will be the first to grace that dunk tank and tickets have already sold out for a chance at “Dunkin’ Dick.”

So, if you’ve not already made your vacation plans, you may want to consider a trip to our nation’s capital to join in on one of the more inventive ideas to come from the President in quite a while. It is sure to become the greatest show on earth.