After reading a story on his favorite satire site about
cheese puffs that resemble tiny dinosaurs, Mark Munchhausen came up with what
he believes to be the next new stoner* food--Puff the Magic Dragon Cheesy
Cheese Puffs.
Munchhausen sees no reason to patent his idea or even
produce the snacks himself, since his favorite snack company has already
perfected a system whereby cheese puff snacks can be randomly formed in the
shape of dinosaurs (or dragons if you will). All he has to do is re-package the
snacks and sell them in his marijuana shop in Denver, Colorado.
The Cannabis King, as he likes to be called, shared how
he came up with the idea for the snacks.
"I couldn't decide on what to call them at
first," said CK, after discovering for himself the almost perfect-shaped
dinosaurs in his package of cheese puffs.
"They look
more like tiny brontosauruses than they do dragons," he said. "And,
well, at first I thought of Dino the dinosaur on the Flintstones. You know,
they are making billions off those little vitamins.
"But then, I lit up a joint, took a few puffs, and
waited for the inspiration to strike. That's when it hit me--Puff the Magic
Dragon lives by the sea! I am puffing on the magic, man, and, well, I don't live by the sea, but I've always wanted to, and
voila! Puff the Magic Dragon Cheesy Cheese Puffs was born."
"I admit," said Muchhausen, "that packaging
the puffs takes valuable time away from growing pot, and I usually net only
about a 50% yield of dragon-shaped puffs from a bag of cheesy corn puffs."
However, the enterprising pothead claims that since he
can get the puffs for $2 a bag and make approximately 6 or 7 baggies out of it,
he's definitely making good money off the puffs.
"I can sell them for $4 a bag easy, so I'm
definitely getting my money back, man. It's a convenience thing, you know. I'm
like 7-Eleven for my customers--a one-stop-shop so to speak.
"Plus," said Muchhausen, "I get my baggies
in bulk, so using some to re-package the snacks is a no-brainer."
Asked if he is worried about having a lawsuit filed
against him from either the owners of the song or the giant food company for
copyright infringement, Muchhausen said "Nah, man. They should be thanking
me. Do you know how many people are going to be buying these things and getting
that song worm stuck in their heads?
"See? I'll even bet you are now humming the song. I
told you, man. This idea is golden."
*stoner - One who regularly gets stoned on marijuana (not
to be confused with stoner - one who throws stones at people until they are
dead, as in "hey, look at that stoner over there. We hate stoners. Let's
stone him to death."
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