Gun Sales Spike Dramatically This Valentine’s Day

"Oh man, she's got that new 'Be-My-Valentine'
tucked in her tube top...bitch!"

Thanks to some clever thinking on the part of an employee at one of the largest gun manufacturers in America, gun sales in the states of Georgia, Arkansas and Missouri are up over 400 per cent.

The product responsible for record sales is a pretty little target pistol sporting pink slides. The “Be-My-Valentine” series went on sale in early February and has since sold out several times. The manufacturer claims it is a natural alternative for redneck husbands and boyfriends tired of the standard gift fare at their local bait stores.

“We’ve been working around the clock so that all the fellas who want to give one of these sweet little pistols to their sweethearts can do so on Valentine’s Day,” said Nerf Wartstern, of GunShyMyEye Custom Gun Company in Euville, Arkansas.

In fact, the demand is so heavy for this particular model that Wartstern fears the company may not be able to fill all the orders until the middle of March, “which,” says Wartstern “may end up cutting into our manufacturing time for the ‘Shamrock Glock’ which is a kelly green-colored pistol we offer on St. Patty’s Day.”