Late Night Hosts Call Moratorium on Jokes about Occupy Wall Street

Last week on the David Letterman show, the silence about Occupy Wall Street was palpable. “It’s not funny, folks,” said Letterman about a subject he says is taboo in his circles. “We aren’t gonna joke around about this, it just wouldn’t be right,” and then launched into the top ten things John Zuccotti is also namesake of. Number one…John Zuccotti, Jr.

Craig Ferguson took the same tact. In fact, at one point in his show on Thursday, he abruptly stopped talking to his sidekick Geoff after the robot skeleton made a snide remark about tents. “We’ll be havin’ none of this, Mr. Smarty Pants,” Ferguson shouted to the robot before having his stage hands take the little guy away. The audience could hear him yelling back “In your pants, in your pants,” as he was being hauled off stage.

In a particularly brazen move, Jimmy Fallon, while agreeing to not talk trash about Occupy Wall Street, actually brought a tent on stage and performed his entire show from the inside of the tent. “While it was a novel approach,” said a protester outside in the cold, “we have to wonder if (a) he even feels our pain, or (2) how he’d survive in the cold out here with us without his cute little pup tent.” Fallon later apologized and claims his people didn’t read the fine print of the proposed moratorium and blamed his writers for the inability to be serious just this one time.

All in all, the moratorium so far has been a success, but trying to reel in Stephen Colbert has been challenging. “Look folks, I’m the best in the business and I didn’t get to be top banana by waxing empathetic and joining some stupid moratorium. Seriously, would you honestly want me to cut back on a story that has more punch lines than a senior citizens’ get together? I don’t think so.”

While those working for Colbert have been doing their best to school him on just how insensitive he can come across by making fun of a movement that is fighting to bring equality to the masses, it doesn’t seem to be changing Colbert’s mind in the least. “I get it,” says Colbert. “But look at it this way, if it weren’t for humor, those folks who are losing their jobs and their houses would really be screwed.”

In fact, while getting ready for a show next week, strains of a popular song from a skit Colbert was developing …“I’m a pepper, you’re a pepper, he’s a pepper, we’re a pepper, wouldn’t you like to spray some pepper too, be a pepper,” could be heard emanating from Colbert’s dressing room. “I’m sorry,” he said, “but honestly, I’m just trying to do my job here, folks.”