Dennis Miller Offering Glenn Beck Sidekick Job

Dennis Miller always had aspirations of being the next Bill O’Reilly or “Billy” as he calls him, or the next Glenn Beck. But, even though he does have his own radio talk show, so far, it’s only gotten him a ticket as a guest wise ass on both of those shows. He wants to be in front of the cameras so bad he can taste it, and now that Glenn Beck is being forced from Fox News, he sees it as his big chance to get ahead in the business.

“Oh, I’m over the fact that people won’t allow me to have my own news show like that hack, Jon Stewart,” said Miller. “But if I can convince Glenn Beck to team up with me in a Laurel and Hardy Meet Walter Cronkite sort of way, that may convince the Fox powers that be that I have that little something extra they need to jazz up their news shows, namely comedy.”

Miller says that Beck is the perfect sidekick for his brand of humor. “People take Glenn Beck seriously, but in reality, he’s one of the funniest and wittiest guys I know,” says Miller. “He doesn’t call himself the rodeo clown for nothing. He knows he’s pulling a big one over on the people of America every time he gets in front of that camera and, up until recently, Beck was laughing all the way to the bank with the bull crap he was telling everyone.” Miller claims Beck would be willing to do the visual stunts his show would need to succeed as well.

“I remember the Glenn Beck episode where he poured gasoline all over some poor guy and was standing there with a match. I was on the edge of my frikkin’ seat,” says Miller. “That’s the kind of stuff I want to do, and Beck could really help me pull it off.”

According to Miller, now is the best time to rope that rodeo clown in on a twosome deal that he (Miller) says will be the best comedy team since Rowan and Martin. “Hell,” he said, “I’d go one better. You get me and Glenn Beck in the studio together, and you’ll swear you’re watching the real version of that old cartoon, Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har. That’s just how funny we’d be. If I can pull this off, the two of us could conceivably take politics to a level so ridiculous, it would resonate louder than the shot heard round the world.”

Miller says he’s ready for the big time. “I’m so tired of hearing the question ‘Who?’ whenever someone mentions my name in passing.”