THIS JUST IN--President Obama Brings Tyra Banks to Tears

Tyra Banks demanded an apology from President Obama today for the hurt and shame he caused her when he declared publicly “Listen up Banks, the American people want their money back.” Banks was watching Fox News when she heard the President say, “My commitment is to recover every single dime the American people are owed by Banks.”

“What money?” cried a tearful Banks. “I don’t owe any money to the American people. Why would the President say such a thing and why is he going to tax me for money I don’t owe?” It was later cleared up when Obama personally called Tyra Banks and explained that it was the big banks that received a taxpayer handout last year, and not her, personally, he was chastising.