Saturday, June 7, 2014

Iowa Man Makes Deal of a Lifetime on eBay

A Des Moines, Iowa man was the highest bidder on a 40' luxury yacht on the online auction site eBay.

Jon Q. O'Nasses, says he was at the right time at the right place and ready to make a deal, when he nabbed the luxury yacht for a mere $4000. Yes, you read that right, $4000 U.S. Dollars for a 40' luxury yacht.

The ship, named Miss Fortune, was placed for sale by its owner tarkington42, when he could no longer afford the monthly marina slip rental fee of $350 per month. The yacht is docked in Sarasota, Florida.

"I was so sad to let her go for that price," said tarkington, "but the marina rental was eating me alive, plus, the boat needs a complete engine overhaul."

While the engine overhaul wasn't mentioned on the description of the item as O'Nasses was bidding on it, he says he doesn't care if the entire boat needs an overhaul.

"I had a cool $12,000 in my savings account," said O'Nasses, "and I was willing to buy half the boat for half that amount. When I saw this come on the auction block starting at $500, I couldn't believe my eyes."

O'Nasses says he began bidding on the boat at 2 a.m. last Friday, believing he was never going to get a yacht for $6000, but luck was on his side and Miss Fortune turned his luck around when he realized a week later, as the auction came to a close, that he was the highest bidder at $4000.

Asked what a guy from Iowa is going to do with a yacht moored in Sarasota, Florida, O'Nasses replied "Well, first I'm going to fly down to Sarasota and check her out, then most likely, I'll start shopping around for bids to fix the engine.

"Once she's fixed, I'm thinking maybe I'll hire myself a seasoned caption and ask a couple of friends to accompany me on a trip to the Bahamas. Then, if that works out, who knows? I might even consider taking her across the ocean and bumming around the Greek islands for a few months."


Upon hearing this, his wife Jackie rolled her eyes, and told us, "He is a dreamer, a great big fat dreamer."

Sunday, June 1, 2014

In Honor of National Cancer Survivors Day - June 1, 2014

This is not a satire post. I am taking liberties as the owner of this blog to showcase a poem I wrote in honor of National Cancer Survivor Day. I hope it helps those who read it realize just how strong they, or whomever they know, who have survived the ravages of cancer.

I am a survivor

I am
I am alive
I am alive today
I am alive today because
I am alive today because I
I am alive today because I refuse
I am alive today because I refuse to
I am alive today because I refuse to allow
I am alive today because I refuse to allow cancer
I am alive today because I refuse to allow cancer to
I am alive today because I refuse to allow cancer to defeat
I am alive today because I refuse to allow cancer to defeat me
I am alive today because I refused to allow cancer to defeat me.
I am alive today because I refuse to allow cancer to defeat me
I am alive today because I refuse to allow cancer to defeat
I am alive today because I refuse to allow cancer to
I am alive today because I refuse to allow cancer
I am alive today because I refuse to allow
I am alive today because I refuse to
I am alive today because I refuse
I am alive today because I
I am alive today because
I am alive today
I am alive
I am.
©P. Beckert


In Pakistan, You Can't Fix Crazy

The news coming out of Pakistan lately has all the makings of a new Discovery Channel reality show. It has adultery, murder, incest, possible pedophilia; did we mention murder? As the plot unfolds on the tragic story of a woman stoned to death by her own father and brothers in Pakistan for marrying a man more than double her age, the story becomes crazier and crazier.

The so-called 'honor killing' has the entire world, well maybe not the part of the world that sees honor killings as something normal, but the rest of the world, scratching its collective head over this one.

Peeling back the layers of what we now know is an all-too typical story about the stoning of a pregnant woman for running off with a man she loved instead of marrying the man picked for her by her family, it is now being reported that the husband of the pregnant woman stoned to death, Mohammad Iqbal, was himself an adulterer, who killed his first wife so that he could marry his pregnant mistress, i.e. the stonee.

Iqbal, it seems, had been living with the young woman's family, and was 20 years her senior. He even admitted to being attracted to the woman as she was a young girl growing up. With several families sharing small, cramped living spaces, one can only surmise that the stonee was not a virgin when she was ultimately married to the murderer and subsequent widower.

If that isn't enough of a twist for you, it appears that the woman was stoned to death because she refused her family's wishes to marry her cousin and instead ran off with the adulterer. Talk about keeping it all in the family.

Is it just me, or does this sound like Deliverance Meets Osama?

If the facts, as they are coming in, are true in this case, then it is a pretty safe bet that the rules governing marriage in Pakistan are extremely different than those here in the United States. Seems the Pakistanis can't get even straight marriage right. Can you imagine if you threw same-sex marriage into the mix for them? We would surely see some self-imploding of Biblical (or Quaranian in this case) proportions in that part of the world.

With tribal laws like these running rampant in Pakistan, most people will agree "You can't fix crazy."


If ever there was an upside to this woman's death, it is that, considering all the crazy people in her life, she's more than likely better off dead, and the same is true for her unborn child, who had a 50/50 chance of being born female.