Word has it that old Beelzebub is furious these days over being blamed for everything from pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s hoohah to Anthony Weiner’s bulging BVD’s. He claims that he’s tired of being a catchall for mankind’s failure to control their sexual desires.
“Why is it when I open the paper and read yet another story about a well-liked politician who’s been caught with his hand in his drawers, there is always a reference to some kind of evil making them do it?” says Satan. “I mean, for Christ’s sake, no pun intended, do you honestly think I waste my time on such piddly matters as this? I’ve got my hands full with deadly disasters like tornados and earthquakes. Seriously,” he continued, “hurricane season has just started. I’m full up man.”
