The treatments seemed to work together
with the fact that Trump went through three years of no election stimulus to
provoke further thin skin attacks, and the fact that Jon Stewart left the Daily
Show, thereby lessening the brutally funny daily attacks on Trump's character.
Fast forward to today,
election year 2016, and Trump is back on the campaign trail against doctor's
orders. Dr. Finkelstein predicts that not only will Trump's skin condition
worsen, but it could very well lead him to again pull out of the race for the
Presidency prematurely, if he doesn't explode first.
When asked about the doctor's
statement, Trump stated defiantly "I have never done anything prematurely,
if you know what I mean. There is no problem whatsoever in that
department."
Dr. Finkelstein has taken to
the airwaves to warn backers of Trump that they may be throwing good money
after bad.
"Look, here is what we
are dealing with," said the good doctor. "We have a man who has
suffered for years with various rare maladies befalling the rich, none of which
has caused him more anguish than that of having very thin skin. If this
condition is not treated properly through more intensive types of therapy, both
physical and mental, there could be grave consequences not only for Mr. Trump
but more importantly for the people who work for him."
Asked to elaborate, Dr.
Finkelstein issued a dire prediction, "He could literally explode,"
he said. "If he doesn't get the help he needs immediately, and if he does
not pull out of the race again, I cannot be responsible for the bloodbath that
could occur at any moment at the next Trump rally."
People close to Donald Trump
agree. According to his make-up artist, the budget for pancake makeup and spray
tans has gone up considerably in the past several months due to the need to
cover up the veins that have begun popping out of the Donald's head.
"Just last week, I was
dismissed by Mr. Trump for taking too long to powder his temples," said
Destiny Parker, a former employee of the Donald Trump entourage.
"In my honest opinion,
the only thing keeping the veins in Mr. Trump's head from exploding is the
secret weapon we in the industry refer to as 'super glue for the skin.' Without
that, I fear Mr. Trump's head is a ticking time bomb."
Will these dire warnings from
the professionals closest to the presidential hopeful persuade the Donald to
drop out of yet another race--one that he seems to be winning against all odds?
We shall have to see.
People close to Donald Trump
tell us that while he is concerned about the possibility of his body parts
exploding in front of thousands of supporters, that will not quench his desire
for the ultimate power trip of being the most important man in the world--in
real life, not just according to Time Magazine.
