Al-Qaeda and Taliban Efforts to Boost Domestic Travel in America Succeed

American Tourism Officials finally have something to cheer about. Americans are staying home and spending their hard-earned paychecks on domestic travel. Disney World, New York City, even Lester’s Museum O’ Rare Lobster Tails in Bangor, Maine is seeing a sharp increase in spending by families who are cancelling trips to the French Riviera and instead seeking some good old-fashioned entertainment right here at home.

“We never thought we’d say that Osama Bin Ladin is a hero, but we are starting to think he just might be,” said Ed Olberschultz, MSNBC’s travel analyst.  “This is the shot in the arm that places like New Orleans really needs. I mean, think about it, they want France, where better to get it than in the French Quarter of New Orleans. Ayeee,” he said in the best Cajun he could muster. Want authentic pizza from Italy? Visit New York City, where you can also now catch a ride on an authentic double-decker bus, just like in jolly old England.

Olberschultz says if you were planning on really doing Europe big and now find that you just can’t bring yourself to putting yourself and your family in harm’s way, take them to Epcot Center. Not only will you be able to take a trip to some of the most prominent countries in Western Europe, including Norway, France, Italy and the United Kingdom, you’ll get the added bonus of visiting the middle and far east, as well as the countries directly north and south of your own border, all in one tidy little terrorist-free place.

Never has there ever been a better time to see America. This may just be the shot in the arm this country needs.