World Association of Applied Mathematicians Say Zero No Longer Necessary

Geneva, Switzerland – During a recent conference of some of the most gifted mathematicians in the world, the subject of the number zero came up again, as it has in past conferences. However, this time, the mathematicians have finally gotten some closure on the matter of (1) whether zero is actually a number and (2) the worth of zero.

After much discussion and several hypotheses as to how physics in general would be affected if zero were no longer considered a number, the mathematicians have finally determined that zero is no longer necessary and can be ignored as a valid number.

The winning argument for the case was made by Swedish mathematician Gruud Vergenstuggen wherein he simply stated, “Take the equation 1 + 0 = 1. The zero makes no difference in the outcome of the equation. In fact, it just makes things more complicated than just saying that the number 1 is the sum of the number 1. Furthermore, regarding the number 10, the zero after the one implies that there is nothing after the one, so when you take the number 11, you already know that there was a ten, and therefore no reason to have a zero.”  When asked how one would then go about writing numbers without zeros, Dr. Vergenstuggen replied simply “Ones can’t write.”

Ed. Note: For those who don’t get the visual to this story, the figure that looks like an 8 is actually the symbol for infinity.