Monday, June 7, 2010

Helen Thomas’ Attempt at Satire Backfires

Washington, D.C. – Fur continues to fly over what some claim are very divisive comments by White House reporter Helen Thomas regarding Israel’s presence in Palestine. While Helen has apologized to everyone regarding the flap, the issue is just not going away and now she is losing speaking engagements because of it. Thomas is reportedly blaming a certain satire site for the insensitive comments made on video.

Thomas issued a statement Sunday that goes further to explain her comments and what was behind them. “It was satire, actually a poor, misguided attempt at satire that brought me down after all my years as a reporter. I should have stuck with the news and left the funny business to those other people at Glossy News. All I can say is, I’m sorry, and it won’t happen again.”

 “Saying I’m sorry just doesn’t get it on this one Helen,” said Abraham Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League. “What part of anti-defamation don’t you get? And just when did you decide all this is a joke?”

Helen, of course, was referring to the website Glossy News which is a satire site where writers take the headline news and make light of it. Helen claims that she was spending a lot of time last weekend reading all the stories on Glossy News and just lost track of reality. “I got to the point where I couldn’t discern truth from fiction. Everything, from Sarah Palin to the oil spill started spinning in my head and I could no longer think seriously.”

After a full day of reading Glossy News, Helen went on to make her famous remark when asked about the Israelis in Palestine. “Send them all back to Germany and Poland is what I said,” remarked a sorrowful Thomas. “Damn those Glossy writers. I should have known better than to think that I could make light of the situation in the Middle East. From now on, if I want funny, I’ll stick with reading the Wall Street Journal.”

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