Glenn Beck - Tears of a Rodeo Clown

Say what you will, but it takes a big man with big clown pants to admit he’s an idiot. That is what Glenn Beck intends to do live on air this week folks. That’s right, he’s gonna get down on his hands and knees and kiss the behind of every ad exec from NY to LA in an attempt to save his pitiful butt from cancellation. A spokesperson for Geico--the latest in a line of companies to pull their ads from Beck’s show, including Proctor & Gamble, SC Johnson and Progressive Insurance--has indicated the reason they are pulling their ads is because of Beck’s deep-seated hatred for geckos. “Beck hates color, and our little gecko is a pretty colorful guy.” she said.

Sources close to Beck say he admits he may have taken it a bit too far by attacking the gecko. “I didn’t realize how many people like that gecko,” he said. “Who knew? When that gecko started talking change and hope, well, I just lost it.” At which point he was reminded that we were talking salamanders not leaders of nations.

No one is sure how this is going to play out. With major advertising money being diverted to other news shows, Beck may be forced into AM Radio. There are rumors that if he does get canned from Fox, he’s going to team up with G. Gordon Liddy, “the G-Man” and give Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage a run for their money. “Hate radio is big, big, big, and the way I look at it, there is a sea of ignorance out there waiting for my tutelage. I’ll get my message out any way I can,” said Beck.

True to form, the Gecko, when asked for a comment about all this simply said “can’t we all just get along?”