Thursdays Under the Magnolia Tree

Washington, DC – President Obama announced today that the small meeting held Thursday between himself, Joe Biden, Professor Gates and Officer Crowley to share a beer and lay to rest any misunderstandings that may have arose due to Obama’s poor choice of words about the incident involving Gates’ arrest by Crowley was highly successful.

Riding on the crest of that success, Obama has decided to designate a portion of his late Thursday afternoon time schedule to hosting like summits in an effort to solve disputes in a more informal, civilized way. Next Thursday he has had his staff “pencil in” Benjamin Netanyahu and Mahmoud Abbas to join him under the magnolia tree for another round of peace talks over a cold one. Said Obama, “No one enjoys beer as much as I do and hey, if we can get a peace deal out of it as well, then it’s icing on the cake.”

It is rumored that before the summer is out, he intends to have Bill O’Reilly and Keith Olbermann over to try and help them bury the proverbial media hatchet. Folks close to Obama say he fancies himself a political Dr. Phil, whose main goal is for everyone to just get along.