This is Obamacare on Koch

A host of new television ads backed by a group known as Generation Opportunity, which is funded in part by the Koch Brothers, are being aimed toward young Americans in the hopes of scaring them enough that they choose to opt out of buying insurance under the Affordable Care Act.

Since I can't write anything remotely funny about this, I thought I'd just post the site and let you decide yourselves if we have finally reached the tipping point between sane and insane when it comes to debating serious issues like affordable health care in America.

WARNING: May cause choking. Do not eat or drink anything while viewing these videos.

http://optout.org/

Ghost of Joan Crawford Attacks Jeff Lewis with Wire Hanger

HOLLYWOOD - Bravo personality, Jeff Lewis, is feeling much better today after spending the better part of last night in a bathtub filled with hot water and epsom salts to treat self-inflicted welts and bruises he received while renovating a dressing suite in a mansion located in the Brentwood neighborhood of Los Angeles.

Lewis, the star of two Bravo reality series--Flipping Out and Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis--claims he is doing his best to try and come to grips with whether or not he was attacked by something or someone other worldly. Still shaken from the experience, Lewis refused to discuss the ordeal and instead left his assistant, Jenni Pulos to answer reporter’s questions.

Pulos was more than happy to give her account of what happened the previous evening. She claims there is no doubt in her mind who attacked her boss.

“I truly believe the ghost of Joan Crawford briefly possessed Jeff and made him beat himself up—literally--for making fun of her,” said Pulos. 

“I warned Jeff to be careful because this particular house had been inhabited by Crawford during her “Mommy Dearest” days. I told him that strange events had been reported here after her death. But would he listen? Does he ever listen to me?”

Pulos claims Lewis, seizing yet another opportunity to belittle his faithful assistant, picked up a wire hanger that he had found on the floor of the dressing area and started chasing Jenni around the room, yelling “No wire hangers. I told you no wire hangers,” imitating Joan Crawford.

“Next thing I know,” says Pulos, “Jeff starts beating himself in the head and chest with the hanger. The cameraman and another crew member had to wrestle him to the ground and physically take the hanger from him. He was so beat up, we had to stop production and get him some help. We called a doctor friend who suggested the warm bath and Epsom salts.”

Lewis is expected to make a full recovery physically, but is having some issues coming to grips mentally with what actually happened to him.

Meanwhile, Pulos was asked if the footage of the attack will air on an upcoming episode of Interior Therapy with Jeff Lewis, to which she replied, “No, we’ve already shot that season.”

So what show will the footage likely air on?  Unable to contain her glee, Pulos smiled, rubbed her hands together sinisterly, and gave the obvious answer. “Well, I think it would be great if we used it on next season’s Flipping Out.”

Man Puzzled Over Finding Two Conflicting Fortunes in One Fortune Cookie

Nick Hendron of Cary, North Carolina, was stopped dead in his tracks after dining at a local Chinese restaurant Saturday. Upon paying for his meal, he was handed his usual fortune cookie.

“The fortune cookie at the end is honestly the only reason I even go to Chinese restaurants,” said Hendron. “I have gotten some pretty spot-on messages, and it is way cheaper than paying to see a psychic.”

This time, however, Hendron received not one but two fortunes embedded in the stale almond cookie. He read the first one which said “Your hard work has paid off. Expect a boost in salary soon.” Hendron was over the moon. He stated that he had been working extra time at his job at a local communications company and wondered if his bosses had noticed. In fact, he had been called into the office just that morning and told that the company had received a letter from a loyal customer thanking them for Nick’s conscientious service at her home a week earlier.

Feeling validated with the first fortune, Nick was ready to accept the fate handed him in the rare second fortune, fully expecting it to be a positive message as well. He pulled the rest of the cookie apart and while happily munching on the cookie, he read “Misunderstandings at work could lead to a demotion.” Hendron nearly choked on the stale cookie. He wondered if this was a disgruntled fortune cookie worker’s way of getting back at a not-so-nice boss or if it had a deeper meaning.

Hoping to solve the mystery, Nick motioned the waiter over and asked if anyone had ever received two fortunes in one cookie, and was told by the surprised waiter that as far as he knew, it had never happened before. Hendron then asked for a second cookie and was told that it would cost him an additional $.50, which the distressed diner gladly paid.

Nick hoped the third fortune would shed some light on either how two fortunes got into one cookie or more importantly, which way his life was going to go. He got his answer upon reading the fortune which stated simply “I quit.”