It is common knowledge that Donald
Trump continues his popularity among the conservative populace who aren't buying
politics as usual anymore. They are fed up and want to see changes in the
system and the White House. This makes the establishment GOP nervous as hell.
Obviously, their first choice
for a presidential candidate is not one who appears to be a donkey in
elephant's clothing. And they certainly do not want a candidate who doesn't know
his place in the Presidential hierarchy, i.e. a level or two below House
Speaker Paul Ryan and Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell.
So, with Trump's popularity picking
up more steam ahead of the NY primary elections, the establishment GOP is
bringing in the big guns to hopefully quash, once and for all, his ambitions of
being the next President of the United States. That's right. When all goes
belly up in an election cycle, there is one person who can step up to the
plate, play really, really dirty politics, and still come out smelling like a
rose. Turd Blossom to the rescue.
Even though the jury is still
out on whether or not the GOP establishment even likes Karl Rove, they do admit
he is a mastermind when it comes to dirty politics. In fact, few people know
that Rove was actually referred to as a "Teacher of Tricks" during
the Watergate scandal. A scandal involving plumbers. Are we starting to see a
connection here?
While he doesn't like to think
of himself as a trickster, Turd Blossom does admit that the GOP is up Shitz
Creek without him. Anybody still looking for a good plumber?
"I make no apologies for
the things I've done in the past, whether it is gerry rigging…er I mean, gerrymandering
an entire state (Texas), or an entire country to win Senate seats. I am the
go-to guy to get things done."
Asked if gerrymandering would
work in the case of Donald Trump and NY. He looked dumbfounded.
"Hell no," he said.
"You are comparing apples to dumbbells. No, the only way to stop someone
like Trump is you have to go off all Tonya Harding on him. But you didn't hear
that from me."
In fact, after that statement,
Rove refused to give any more details of how he has been plotting to derail the
GOP frontrunner's chances of becoming the GOP presidential nominee. Last seen,
he was hiding in the shadows, spittle coming from his grotesquely deformed
smile as he counted the millions of dollars just handed off to him by someone
looking eerily like Eddie Munster.
Meanwhile, upon hearing Rove's
statement, Trump had his security beefed up and sent his private assistant out
shopping for knee pads to match his bullet-proof vest.
In related political news on
the Democratic side, NY Governor Andrew Cuomo has asked for an emergency
meeting with the Supervisor of Elections to see if there is any way to raise
the voting age ahead of the primary to 30 in an effort to keep young Democrats
from voting overwhelmingly in favor of Bernie Sanders.
When asked about this latest
measure, Cuomo simply stated "Hey, other states are doing way more
dishonest stuff than us and getting away with it. This cuts down on having to
employ extra help to switch party affiliations on the registered voter sheets."
More as we get it.
