Governor Scott Walker Sells State Naming Rights to Wal-Mart

Wisconsin governor, Scott Walker makes no excuses for his heavy-handed push to privatize the entire state of Wisconsin while he is head honcho. His first big move, of course, was to get rid of collective bargaining for public workers in order to set the stage for big business to come in and set up shop in the education and public works departments, making the word ‘public’ a thing of the past.

Today, Scott Walker announced that he has brokered a multi-billion dollar deal with the largest discount retailer in the United States, Wal-Mart, allowing the retail giant to re-name the State of Wisconsin ‘New Wal-Mart.’

“Lest anyone have doubts about just how serious I am about switching from a public-run state to a privatized one, the re-naming of Wisconsin today to New Wal-Mart should pretty much seal the deal,” said Walker. “Henceforth and heretofore, make no mistake about it. New Wal-Mart is just the beginning.”

Asked if the residents of Wisconsin may become confused when going out to shop in their favorite store and not knowing if they are getting beef or pork, Walker responded “no, not at all. One obviously is a dinner item and the other is a legislative process.” In fact, Walker seemed a bit irritated that he had to answer such an inane question from a reporter working at the new state-run newspaper, the ATT Times-Picayune.

Unfortunately, said one political strategist, Walker’s very move to sell the naming rights of the state to Wal-Mart will almost certainly spell the immediate doom of the newly elected governor. “What Mr. Walker failed realize is that by selling off the State of Wisconsin to private concerns, his job as a public employee is now obsolete.”