Wisconsin Governor Threatens to Replace 14 Missing Democrats with Blow Up Dolls

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker is running out of patience with the 14 Democratic senators who are hiding out in Illinois to forestall a vote on a budget-repair bill. Under Wisconsin law, any bill that deals with spending state money must have a full vote to consider. However, passing emergency legislation that doesn’t involve spending state assets can be passed without the Democrats’ votes.

The governor is considering putting up for vote legislation that would allow him to privately purchase 14 blow up dolls from an adult novelty store in Madison and swear them in as replacement senators. In doing so, Walker believes he would have the problem licked and could go ahead with his budget bill unfettered by a few hold out senators.

Asked if mannequins would be better substitutes than blow up dolls, Walker said they might be, but he wants to send a clear message to the runaway Democrat lawmakers that they can’t just blow off government. There are consequences.

Besides, he claims that the dolls can be later used at various fund-raising functions leading up to the 2012 elections. “If I’m going to be forced to spend my hard-earned money on replacements for these hold outs,” said Walker “I want to use something that is easily carted in and out of Senate chambers without losing an arm or a leg in the process.”