Michelle Obama Afraid to Vacation in Maine

When Barack Obama hit the first lady with the news that they were going to the Maine backwoods for a short little vacation, Michelle wasn’t too enchanted with the idea. Sure, the idea of getting in some hiking, canoeing, and fishing was a great idea to wind down the summer before going into the final stretch for November elections, but Maine, who goes to Maine?

And then, Barack told her the rest of the news. “We’re going to be staying with Stephen King, you know, the horror writer? He has this awesome spooky house he lives in in Bangor. Won’t that be exciting?”

Michelle is said to be terrified at the idea of spending even a few minutes in the company of King. “That guy scares the bejeezus outta me,” she’s was heard saying as she and the President discussed the issue over an impromptu picnic on the lawn just outside the west wing of the White House. “Did you ever read that awful story about Pennywise? What kinda creepy things do you suppose goes on in his house, Barack? The girls will never be able to sleep without the light on again.”

Obama is reportedly a big fan of King’s “The Stand,” a story in which he sees himself as the character “Mother Abagail” and Dick Cheney as the character “Randall Flagg” aka “the Walkin’ Dude.” A classic tale of good vs. evil, Obama has recommended this book to many a friend. He’s said more than once that his favorite part is about how everyone can’t get Mother Abagail out of their heads, like she is the one who is going to save mankind from the evil forces at work in the world.

At one point in their discussion, Barack was overhead saying, “Ok, Michelle, you are afraid of Stephen King, I can appreciate that, but look at the alternatives. I could have us spending a couple of days at the Bush family compound in Kennebunkport” to which Michelle replied, “ok you made your point. Stephen King it is.”