Gays Not Allowed to Pray in Wisconsin

Milwaukee, WI – A Wisconsin District Court Judge appropriately named Crabb has ruled that there will be no praying on National Prayer Day unless it is done in private. “Whether you are an atheist or a true believer, a heterosexual or a homosexual, a Republican or a Democrat, a man or a woman, you cannot pray in Wisconsin on this day,” said the ruling handed down by Crabb.

“Oh right,” said Herbert Whilmly of the local Gay and Lesbian Rights Foundation of Milwaukee, “just because we are homosexual, the Judge has to single us out. This is just so typical. We are still fighting for our rights, even when the President hands them to us on a silver platter, like he did the other day by allowing us to finally be bedside with the one we love at the hospital of our choosing. It is just so typical.”

Rights in America these days it seems are something Americans want and when they are handed them, seem to be lacking just the specificity expected by the groups wanting them. It’s kinda like the lovely carnelian red couch you’ve been jonesing for for months finally arrives and it turns out to be burgundy. There is just something missing.

“We were planning on praying on National Prayer Day,” said Stacey Williams of neighboring Minnesota, “but now with Wisconsin’s ruling, we aren’t sure if we can get together or not. The government seems to have their hand in everything these days. I just hope we’re still allowed to pray on Sunday, cause I really like praying, you know?”